


can't help falling in love

by sunttae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, i don't even know what this is, i just wanted to write cute haikyuu fics and then this happened, kinda tsukkiyama stuff??? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunttae/pseuds/sunttae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night, in the middle of summer, Tsukishima Kei makes a playlist about a one special Yamaguchi Tadashi. It’s not a sappy playlist, although it comes close at times. He lies awake in the dark of his room, headphones snug over his ears as he listens to Fleet Foxes sing about falling in love, and he sighs. His chest feels tight and aching in a way that he doesn’t like, but has learned to live with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't help falling in love

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is the first actual fic i've posted on here, hell yeah. it's not the best fanfic i've ever written, but it's pretty good (apart from the end though the end is terrible)
> 
> this was based off a fanmix i made for these two, which you can then listen to [here](http://8tracks.com/nirabii/can-t-help-falling-in-love-with-you), if you want to

Tsukishima Kei didn’t know home could exist in the form of a person until he met Yamaguchi Tadashi. His definition of a home was four walls and a roof and maybe a feeling of safety if you were lucky. Up until then he didn’t know that he was wrong. That he was thinking of a house, and that homes and houses were two different things, because homes came with people who loved you and houses were just blank rooms and empty walls that even when full of meaningless objects still filled your thoughts.

\------------------------

He’s not even sure when he began to feel this way. Was it when they were five and meeting for the first time, with Tsukishima throwing sand at Yamaguchi because he just wanted to sit and build sandcastles by himself? Was it when they were 7, and he had saved Yamaguchi from the bullies that were making him feel weak and pathetic? Or could it have been when they were 12, passing a volleyball back and forth, lazy in the summer heat, with Tsukishima calling out half-hearted insults at his companion every few minutes? Looking back, he remains unsure, unable to pinpoint the moment that this all started. Though despite how far back he may look, the verdict remains the same. Tsukishima Kei is in love with his best friend.

Things become strained between them for a while, no thanks to one tall blonde, and he doesn’t know what to do. Simple touches and brief glances in class instantly make the blood rush to his cheeks and he swallows thickly. It’s awkward, this type of attraction he feels. Renders him unable to comprehend even the simplest of commands when Yamaguchi smiles at him like that, like he’s the one responsible for the sun and the earth and everything that’s good in the world. It’s fatal – he’s attracted to Tadashi like a moth to a flame, and everyone knows how that ends.

Everything is okay again when one day Yamaguchi looks at him and says “sorry Tsukki” for no apparent reason, with a grin and a slight head tilt, as if he needs to apologise for making him feel like this. Everything is okay, because even if Tsukishima feels like he’s dying inside every time he looks at his best friend, at least Tadashi doesn’t know.

\------------------------

One night, in the middle of summer, Tsukishima Kei makes a playlist about a one special Yamaguchi Tadashi. It’s not a sappy playlist, although it comes close at times. He lies awake in the dark of his room, headphones snug over his ears as he listens to Fleet Foxes sing about falling in love, and he sighs. His chest feels tight and aching in a way that he doesn’t like, but has learned to live with.

Tsukishima knows that he should do something about this, that it’s not healthy to pine over someone the way he does over Yamaguchi, but it’s too late to stop now. After all, it’s gotten to the point that he’s making playlists about a boy who he doesn’t even know is into guys but probably isn’t, if the way he stares longingly after the girls that confess to (and get rejected by) Tsukishima is any indication. Then again, he’s learned that it’s best not to assume anything about anyone. Although it’s hard not to when his friend has never expressed any interest in liking guys, ever, even when Tsukki himself came out as bisexual. There has never been any conversation between the two of them regarding Yamaguchi’s sexuality, which stupidly, makes Tsukishima frustrated. He doesn’t like not knowing things.

\------------------------

In time, things change. He can’t tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. The feelings for his friend still linger on, despite how much he tries to will them away, even for a little while. The playlist he made is still one of the first playlist he goes to listen to whenever he puts on his headphones. But something is different. With Yamaguchi. Dark eyes linger on his form whenever there’s a moment long enough, quickly glancing away whenever the blond in question would gaze towards him. It confuses him, yet he doesn’t let it show.

Subtle changes slowly appear and soon everything is different and he was too late to notice. The shift in their relationship has been going on for some while, yet he had failed to notice until now. If he was being completely honest, he would say that this is maybe a good thing. However Tsukishima is not usually an honest person, instead deciding to hide behind a painstakingly constructed wall of carefully thought out insults and condescending glares, not letting any get too close. Yamaguchi is the only one brave enough to try and climb, digging his hands into whatever cracks he may find, despite the wounds he may receive. It makes him sound like Rapunzel, with a solid tower surrounding him, and Tadashi as his prince charming.

Yamaguchi is different. He’s braver. Looks linger and touches have a certain weight behind them that wasn’t there before. Overall, he’s bolder. No longer is he afraid of initiating contact between the two. It takes him a week to realize what the cause of this must be. It then takes him less than a day to push that idea to the back of him mind, and berate himself for ever thinking that could be a possibly.

\------------------------

That weekend, he has an unexpected guest. Yamaguchi stands on his doorstep, head bowed and shuffling nervously in a manner that Kei finds all too familiar. Instead of inviting him in, as per usual, he asks if he’d like to go for a walk. He needs to get out of the house anyway, is his excuse, although if the look Yamaguchi is giving him is anything to go by, than it’s a paper thin excuse at best.

The weather is nice out, and Tsukishima takes a moment to acknowledge that as the duo walk down the street. The leaves on the trees are starting to turn brown and die as autumn slowly creeps in, overwhelming summer with its cool breezes and fallen leaves. Neither of the two speak, both already knowing where to go and the quickest path to get there. Hanging out at the same place for years has its perks, after all.

The park is the same, even after all these years. Tall trees, a somewhat mediocre playground and a walking track that circles the lake. It’s nostalgic, almost. Both of them head for the swing set, the silence between them now filled with the crunching of their footsteps on the gravel path and the soft tweeting of the birds as they flit between the trees. The playground is empty, not a child in sight, and Tsukishima mentally appraises his friend for picking the perfect day for them to have this conversation.

They sit on the swings, Tsukishima rocking back and forth slightly. The chains squeak in protest at the first movement but soon loosen up, letting the swing move with only a minimal amount of noise. A slender hand reaches up to push his glasses back up his nose before reaching back to the grab the cool chain, the other hand dropping down to hang by his side.

Yamaguchi is the first to break the silence, letting out a soft sigh. Brown eyes immediately dart towards him, taking in his features like he’s done countless other times. Freckles scattered across pale skin reminding him of the constellations he used to study as a child, dark hair always in a state of disarray, and warm brown eyes that light up whenever focused on a particular area of interest. Tsukishima finds him beautiful and can’t help but stare, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Blinking out of his trance, he finds Tadashi smiling at him. He resists the urge to stutter out an excuse, knowing that it would help, and simply raises a brow, waiting for Yamaguchi to say whatever it is he wanted to say. Kei doesn’t have to wait long, as moments later Yamaguchi is speaking quietly, turning towards his friend.

“Tsukki, you may be smart, but you’re an idiot.”

The statement is accompanied by a bright grin and a light laugh, stopping him as he goes to protest that he isn’t an idiot, he’s top of his class, but he can’t bring himself to speak.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice? We’ve been best friends for years, and you didn’t think I would notice?”

It dawns on him, then, what Yamaguchi is talking about, and his mouth opens and closes in a completely uncharacteristically manner.

“I love you too, Tsukki.”

He stops there, staring at the teen opposite him, head tilted slightly to the side as if that’s going to help. Tsukishima really is an idiot. All this time, wanting something he thought he could never have, when really he was just over-complicating things.

Thin fingers lace together with his own and it feels as wrong as two puzzle pieces that don’t match but at the same time it feels right. Like this is where he’s meant to be, in the middle of a silent park on a cool winters day, sitting on a swing that is just a tad bit too small to be comfortable, with his best friend at his side. Yes, he thinks, this is right. Being with Tadashi gives him a sense of safety and belonging that remind him more of a home than his own house does.

He’s found his home in the form of his best friend, and finally, after a stupid amount of time spent pining over someone he thought he could never have, everything is okay.


End file.
